The (not so) ideal man

So, I was now officially a member of the online dating world.  Time to explore who was out their awaiting me and me them.

I took some time to take a few 'hold the iPhone at arms length' pictures to add to my profile.  I didn't realize that all pictures have to be approved by 'someone who monitors the site,' before my pics would show up.  Before the pictures were approved, there were men sending messages requesting photos.  I guess I didn't do such a bad job describing myself after all, huh?  

With pictures posted and approved, I now set out to plug in some search parameters and see who would be a good match.  Remember all those multiple choice questions that I had to select from in creating my profile?  Well, now I could decide which of those qualities I would want in a match. 

Some of the choices I made were:  Ht 5'11 to over 7' (I like tall men so I can wear my high heels and still not be looking eye to eye), someone within 50 mile radius of my location (that at least gets me to Kansas City), non-smoker, non- or social drinker, OK if they have children (really wouldn't be fair to knock someone out of the running over child(ren) since I am expecting they will also accept my child), body type of 'slim' to 'a few extra pounds,' for hair color I selected all except 'bald'  (I do like my man with hair), etc., etc., etc.  I figured, if I were dreaming, I might as well make him a tall, dark, handsome, rich and committed Christian.  I mean, why not?  I knew I could always change the parameters later if no one showed up on the list. 

So I hit the send button and to my astonishment......this man who lives in my very own town showed up as my most likely match.  Oh, WOW!  This was NOT what I was expecting.  In fact, I was horrified!  The man staring back at me from my computer screen was no other than a man that I KNEW  had molested a child!!!!  I was AGHAST!  It quickly dawned on me, if I could see that he was on here looking for a date, then he could see I was on here as well.  If this man, with his dirty, little secrete was on ChristianMingle.com, how could I trust any of the men whose faces were staring at me, saying they were a good match.  I began looking for the delete button and I promptly removed my profile.  Wow, all that work (that I should have been putting into a school project?) vaporized in a moment of reality.  

Well, that was certainly not how I had envisioned my first online dating experience to be.  Over before it even started.  I began to wonder if this really was the best option for me.  Surely there had to be a better, safer way to meet men to date.  Clearly I need to do a little more research before I proceeded down the online dating path.   

Options (continued)

After deciding what options were NOT good for finding a date, I began thinking about what WOULD be a good option.  My thoughts turned to a new friend that I had recently met at the clinic I was working in. A few weeks prior, I went to a wedding shower for her and it was there that I discovered she met her husband-to-be on ChristianMingle.com.  I decided that maybe online dating would be a good option for me as well.

So, on that random Saturday, while working on a school project, I took a short break from my studies and typed the words ChristianMingle.com into my web browser.  There was the offer to join for free.  So I started typing.  There was a combination of questions regarding email address, user name, password, birthdate, Name, Zip Code.  The requested information gradually became more personal.   Height?  Surprisingly no question about weight, but had to choose your body type, such as 'Athletic' 'Slim' 'Average' 'A few extra pounds,' etc.  I began to see where people could easily mis-identify themselves.  Who of us doesn't want to believe we are skinnier or richer than we really are? Then the question of income range (yet another opportunity to deceive).  Singleness status? Such as 'Never Married' 'Divorced' 'Widowed' Occupation?  Do you have children?  Do they live at home? I kept typing or checking off boxes.  Why type of church did you grow up in?  What type of church do you attend now?  What type of ministry are you involved in?  How do you define yourself as a Christian?  This was interesting.  There were choices such as 'It defines who I am' to 'I am trying to decide.'  What?  I thought this was a place Christians came to mingle?  This did not make sense.  But I made my choice (It defines who I am) and moved on.  The question about how often you attend church was just as disturbing.  From 'Weekly' to 'Never'.  Hummm?

Next came the all important 'Who am I and what am I looking for' paragraph.  Wow.  How exactly does one tell potential dates who they are and what they are like in a few hundred characters?  That is at least as difficult if not more difficult than describing what you are looking for in a potential date.  [At this point I am wondering why I thought this would be a good break/distraction from my school project!]

The final part is submitting some photos of yourself.  Well, now.  I am usually the one behind the camera, so not too many (dare I say, not ANY that are flattering) pics of myself to post.  When you try to skip this part, you get a warning that people do not look at profiles if you don't have a picture posted.  I'm sure that is true.  But I certainly didn't want unflattering pictures of me posted.  So I began plotting how I was going to get some good current photos of myself, without letting anyone know that I had signed up for online dating.

So far, this online option was my secret.  A place to escape to so I could quietly find the Christian man of my dreams.  I really couldn't wait to surprise my family and friends with the story of the date-of-my-dreams that I had just taken the time to define!  What could there be about this new adventure that wouldn't be fun?