The Surgeon (continued)

On the Saturday after Graduation, I woke up and realized that I had agreed to CALL The Surgeon that morning.  I HATE making phone calls!  I waited a few hours to see if maybe he would actually call me (but that wasn't the agreement, so I was not holding out hope that he would call) and when I had not heard from him by 11 am, I mustered up all the courage I could and placed the call to the number he had given me when we talked last (Tuesday evening).

I dialed the number and the phone rang.  And rang.  And rang. And then went to voicemail.  I HATE leaving messages even more than I hate dialing a number.  I am really just not able to be concise when leaving a voicemail (kind of like how I am when writing a blog, or talking to a friend, or giving instructions to patients, or....anything else that involves using words).  So I leave my usual rambling message that includes who I am, why I am calling, my number, when I will be available to take a call, etc.  I hang up and decide not to focus on why he is not taking my call after he had asked me to call him.

A few hours pass and I got a text.  It was from The Surgeon!  He told me that he was between emergent surgeries and had just listened to my voicemail.  He stated his observation that my phone number was from a rural town outside of the major Midwest city that he lives in.  He wanted to know if I really lived there.  I send back a text saying that I do indeed live in the rural town, and that I am very used to driving into the major Midwest city.  In fact, I say, I drive there several times per week, it is not a big deal to me.  After a few minutes, I get a reply.  What The Surgeon says in the reply astounds me.  I have to read it several times to actually take it all in....to really grasp the implications of what he is saying.

The text I read was as follows:  I'll have to pass on the date because I need to try and develop a relationship with someone near to where I live.  I am always on call and need to be 20 mins from my hospital for surgical availability.  I told the date company this specifically and this scenario happened once before with a match who lived an hour southeast of where I live.  I'm not clear why the company did not keep this parameter in consideration.  Sorry for the mix up.  Best wishes!

After reading and re-reading the text I realized that the possibilities of dating The Surgeon had just  vanished into thin air.  I had to mentally return all the items I had already imagined I would purchase with half a million dollars a year.  I had to come back from those fanciful and fabulous vacations that would never happen.  Just being honest here!  I also felt it necessary to remind God that He would be on his own for the $50,000.00+ dollars of tithe per year that I would be unable to give in the future. Quite honestly, I DO think God laughed in that moment.  I mean really gave a BIG belly laugh as He shook His head ever so slightly at the foolishness of my thoughts.  As though, I would have the audacity to think He (GOD) needed MY (or The Surgeon's or anyone else's) money!  Really!?!

So two weeks after I was first told about the possibility of a date with The Surgeon (which was also ten days before Christmas and one day after graduation, but who's counting?), all the excitement that I had felt about having a date with someone that I might actually have a chance of building a relationship with ebbed away.  Someone who met many of the criteria I was looking for in a date (handsome, 6 foot tall, gentleman, has hair and a professional) was clearly outside of my reach as I did not meet a vitally important parameter for him.

I was bummed.  It has taken a little time to mentally re-adjust my thoughts.  How very easily I can move ahead of myself with my hopes and dreams.  So, writing about The Surgeon has been (painfully) slow as I have been licking the wounds that I alone created by jumping ahead of myself and more importantly, God.  God has taught me so many valuable lessons through this.  Rather than share all the lessons He is teaching me at once (after all it is not your fault that I have gotten myself in this quagmire), I will leave you with two scriptures that have come to mind over the past few weeks.

No explanation needed as to what God was telling me with this scripture:

Pride is the first step toward destruction. Proud thoughts will lead you to defeat.

Proverbs 16:18 (ERV)

Ouch!

While God's Word does speak for itself, what God reminded me when I read the next verses is that He (God) owns it ALL.  He doesn't NEED what I think I have to offer Him.  It is already His!  On the contrary, He is ready, willing and able to provide ALL I need.  He really is a good God!

He is the God who made the world and everything in it.  Since He is Lord of heaven and earth, he doesn't live in man-made temples, and human hands can't serve His needs--for He has no needs.  He Himself gave life and breath to everything, and He satisfies every need.  Acts 17:24-25 (NIV)

My prayer:  God, teach me to rely on you.  Help me to trust you to provide all I need: materially, emotionally, relationally and spiritually.  Help me to find my satisfaction in you.  Help me not jump ahead in my thoughts, choosing thoughts of pride for what I can imagine may be mine over thoughts of You--the absolutely greatest treasure.  You are all I need!

The Surgeon

So, the Matchmaking Service told me that The Surgeon would be calling me near the end of the week.  In case you have forgotten where this fits in the dating timeline you may need to revisit Two Matches and Googling a Date.  I know I had go back and read them in order to see where I had left off in this long convoluted story that I have taken WAY to long to finish.  At the end of the blog series about "The Surgeon" you will have an idea of why I have put off finishing this particular blog!  I can't seem to live life and write at the same time, which is probably why I should not try to write a blog as it is happening.  But, I digress.  Let's get back to the topic at hand, The Surgeon.

So, I learn about the match with The Surgeon on Monday following my last day of class and am told he will be calling sometime by the end of the week.  So I wait.  And google him.  And wait. And wait some more.  That had to be one of the LONGEST week of my life.  So, on Saturday morning, which is exactly FIVE days from when I first learned about the match with The Surgeon, my mind began trying to come up with some logical explanations for why he had not called me yet.

Some (I'm not going to list them all!) of the reason I came up with that may have prevented The Surgeon from calling were:  1) The Matchmaking Service forgot to give him my number,  or 2) The Matchmaking Service gave him my number but they gave the wrong number OR he wrote it down wrong (and now he was having a date with another fifty year old Widow, who was pleasantly surprised at her good fortune), or MAYBE 3) He was on an exotic vacation on Bora Bora Island and  he was coming back the following week and I would get to hear all about it (I have a crazy, fun, out-of-the-box kind of imagination, in case you have not noticed by now), or realistically, maybe 4) He had several 12-18 hour surgeries during the week and he was just plain exhausted (I know I would have been), or sadly, maybe 5) He had changed his mind about going out with me even though he had not even met me yet (oh, but let's not think that!).

So it dawned on me that I needed to call the Matchmaking Service to see what was going on.  Because, the Lord knows that my life is quickly flying by and every day that I wait to hear from a date is another day that I am in limbo waiting for my handsome prince.  But, if you recall (from Two Matches blog) I despise having to make phone calls, so I decided that maybe "the end of the week" meant by late Sunday evening (although that did not make sense as Sunday is the first day of the week--but, alas,  that is what my procrastinating mind does to me--keeps rationalizing a reason not to make a call).  So I decided I would call on Monday morning (I know, I know. Procrastination at it's finest!) if I haven't heard from him by Saturday evening.

As I am working through all the possible scenarios and thinking of reasons to procrastinate, the phone rings.  It's.....NOT The Surgeon.  BUT, it IS the Matchmaking Service (I do think they can read my mind at times) and I offer a quick, Thank-you, God (I don't have to make the call)!  So the Matchmaker told me that he had not been able to get in touch with the Forklift Driver.  Oh, wow!  I had already forgotten all about him, poor guy!  But, the Matchmaker went on to say, I guess you have talked to The Surgeon and have a date planned.  After a brief stunned silence, I replied that I had not heard from him.  Then the Matchmaker has his moment of stunned silence and says that he had called The Surgeon and left my number on his voicemail on Monday right after he talked to me.  He assured me that he would call The Surgeon, again, and leave a message, again.  He said to give The Surgeon until the end of the coming week to call.  AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!  Another WEEK!  I was pretty sure I would die before then, but I decided maybe I should try and hold out for his call.

 So, my way out-of-town family (that I only see a few times a year) came up to visit me to celebrate my graduation (explained in A Delay) which would be at the end of my now, busy and exciting week.  I began wondering if it would be rude to ask my family to excuse me for an evening in the event The Surgeon called BEFORE the end of the week and wanted to have a date some time before they left.  I really couldn't decide what to do, but I leaned toward going on a date even with them here.  I know, I'm bad.

So, on Tuesday afternoon, I got a call from a "No Caller ID" number (something that I knew physicians always do).  I took the call and it WAS the Surgeon!  I tried my best to sound nice and relaxed (not sure how I really sounded).  He apologized for not calling me the week before, but he said he wasn't sure what happened but he didn't get a message from the Matchmaker Service the week before and then he was out of town over the week-end (when they called back) looking at another major city that he was considering relocating his business to this coming summer.  Hummm, I wasn't sure what to think about that.  While it was easy to carry on a conversation with him, he was so soft spoken so that I felt like I kept having to say, "What?" "Pardon?" "Can you repeat that?"  I HATE when I have to do that!  But I hate it even more when I don't know what they just said, so I pressed on.  We talked for about 8 minutes.  He asked me where I grew up.  How do people always know I didn't grow up in the Midwest?  My Southern accent isn't that obvious, is it?  Ha.  Don't answer that!  As it turned out he grew up here in the Midwest but lived in most of the major cities of the state I grew up in while he was in medical school and in his residency programs (something that confirmed that the Surgeon I googled was indeed the one I was now talking with) but it seemed we were not in any of the same cities at the same time.

So, after the light chit-chat, we decided that I should call him on Saturday after my graduation was over and we would schedule a date then.  Good.  Now I could just relax and get through the graduation with my family AND keep dreaming of the date that I would soon have with The Surgeon.    

Proverbs 13:12 

The Message (MSG)

Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick,
    but a sudden good break can turn life around.

If I could, I would insert a satisfied smile and a quiet sigh, right here.