The Surgeon (continued)

On the Saturday after Graduation, I woke up and realized that I had agreed to CALL The Surgeon that morning.  I HATE making phone calls!  I waited a few hours to see if maybe he would actually call me (but that wasn't the agreement, so I was not holding out hope that he would call) and when I had not heard from him by 11 am, I mustered up all the courage I could and placed the call to the number he had given me when we talked last (Tuesday evening).

I dialed the number and the phone rang.  And rang.  And rang. And then went to voicemail.  I HATE leaving messages even more than I hate dialing a number.  I am really just not able to be concise when leaving a voicemail (kind of like how I am when writing a blog, or talking to a friend, or giving instructions to patients, or....anything else that involves using words).  So I leave my usual rambling message that includes who I am, why I am calling, my number, when I will be available to take a call, etc.  I hang up and decide not to focus on why he is not taking my call after he had asked me to call him.

A few hours pass and I got a text.  It was from The Surgeon!  He told me that he was between emergent surgeries and had just listened to my voicemail.  He stated his observation that my phone number was from a rural town outside of the major Midwest city that he lives in.  He wanted to know if I really lived there.  I send back a text saying that I do indeed live in the rural town, and that I am very used to driving into the major Midwest city.  In fact, I say, I drive there several times per week, it is not a big deal to me.  After a few minutes, I get a reply.  What The Surgeon says in the reply astounds me.  I have to read it several times to actually take it all in....to really grasp the implications of what he is saying.

The text I read was as follows:  I'll have to pass on the date because I need to try and develop a relationship with someone near to where I live.  I am always on call and need to be 20 mins from my hospital for surgical availability.  I told the date company this specifically and this scenario happened once before with a match who lived an hour southeast of where I live.  I'm not clear why the company did not keep this parameter in consideration.  Sorry for the mix up.  Best wishes!

After reading and re-reading the text I realized that the possibilities of dating The Surgeon had just  vanished into thin air.  I had to mentally return all the items I had already imagined I would purchase with half a million dollars a year.  I had to come back from those fanciful and fabulous vacations that would never happen.  Just being honest here!  I also felt it necessary to remind God that He would be on his own for the $50,000.00+ dollars of tithe per year that I would be unable to give in the future. Quite honestly, I DO think God laughed in that moment.  I mean really gave a BIG belly laugh as He shook His head ever so slightly at the foolishness of my thoughts.  As though, I would have the audacity to think He (GOD) needed MY (or The Surgeon's or anyone else's) money!  Really!?!

So two weeks after I was first told about the possibility of a date with The Surgeon (which was also ten days before Christmas and one day after graduation, but who's counting?), all the excitement that I had felt about having a date with someone that I might actually have a chance of building a relationship with ebbed away.  Someone who met many of the criteria I was looking for in a date (handsome, 6 foot tall, gentleman, has hair and a professional) was clearly outside of my reach as I did not meet a vitally important parameter for him.

I was bummed.  It has taken a little time to mentally re-adjust my thoughts.  How very easily I can move ahead of myself with my hopes and dreams.  So, writing about The Surgeon has been (painfully) slow as I have been licking the wounds that I alone created by jumping ahead of myself and more importantly, God.  God has taught me so many valuable lessons through this.  Rather than share all the lessons He is teaching me at once (after all it is not your fault that I have gotten myself in this quagmire), I will leave you with two scriptures that have come to mind over the past few weeks.

No explanation needed as to what God was telling me with this scripture:

Pride is the first step toward destruction. Proud thoughts will lead you to defeat.

Proverbs 16:18 (ERV)

Ouch!

While God's Word does speak for itself, what God reminded me when I read the next verses is that He (God) owns it ALL.  He doesn't NEED what I think I have to offer Him.  It is already His!  On the contrary, He is ready, willing and able to provide ALL I need.  He really is a good God!

He is the God who made the world and everything in it.  Since He is Lord of heaven and earth, he doesn't live in man-made temples, and human hands can't serve His needs--for He has no needs.  He Himself gave life and breath to everything, and He satisfies every need.  Acts 17:24-25 (NIV)

My prayer:  God, teach me to rely on you.  Help me to trust you to provide all I need: materially, emotionally, relationally and spiritually.  Help me to find my satisfaction in you.  Help me not jump ahead in my thoughts, choosing thoughts of pride for what I can imagine may be mine over thoughts of You--the absolutely greatest treasure.  You are all I need!