Another way

After closing the first online site that I signed up for, I began searching the web for an alternative to finding men to date.  Surely there had to be another way.  And if there was, I was determined to find it.

I came across an online advertisement for a matchmaking service called Kansas Singles (apparently they are in other states as well).  The idea behind the service is that all the potential dates are screened for you and then are matched to your predetermined specifications.  This sounded like a viable option for me.  I wouldn't have to spend my time scouring the profiles online and setting up searches.  This, for me, seemed like a good idea.

I made initial contact with the company online.  They called and made an appointment for a face to face meeting at their office.  I went through about an hour long interview process where I answered questions that supposedly evaluated me to see if I was psychologically fit to be dating the men in their system (at least I think that is what they were evaluating).  Some of the questions the counselor asked included:  Why I was considering dating at this point in my life.  Where else I had looked for dates (church, friends, online, work, etc) and why I didn't think that any of those avenues would work for me.  Where I was in my grieving process.  What I was hoping to gain from the service (a marriage partner was apparently the right answer).  I must say I was impressed with the thoroughness.  She assured me that they ask all their clients these questions.

I asked her about the type of clients they have and she assured me they were professional men (doctors, surgeons, lawyers, engineers, pharmacists, etc) who, like me, didn't want to be online but didn't have opportunity in their life to meet quality women (which I guess she was implying that I was? Hahaha).  I was also concerned that there might not be any or be a limited number of men who shared my commitment to my spiritual beliefs.  Again she assured me there were many.

She then left the room to go and "talk to her supervisor" by phone to get his approval.  She also ran a background check and credit check.  She came back and said I was approved.  She did tell me that they do not approve everyone.  Once there was a guy who had tattoos all over his body (arms, legs, head, etc) and they did not approve him even though the other areas checked out.  She said she tries to keep in mind the kind of men she would like to see her friends and daughters date.  That sounded reasonable.

Next came the explanation about how, exactly, the service works.  You are assigned to a matchmaker.  They will match you with a man in their system based on the criteria that I provided.  When they had a match for me, they would call me and tell me about him.  I would have the option of saying yes or no, but she encouraged me to always say yes unless there was a HUGE compelling reason why I couldn't or wouldn't go out with him.  Keep in mind the man they describe should already match the criteria that I had set.  If I say yes, then they would call the man and tell him about me.   If he accepted, they would give him my phone number and he would call me to arrange the date.  We were supposed to talk for only about 5 minutes on that phone call, just enough time to set a date.  They didn't want us to start making a judgment about the other person until we had actually met in person.  After the date, I was to call the service back.  Tell them some things I liked about the person and some things I would like differently for the next date.  The idea is that they use the information to narrow down my options until they help me find the right one.  Assuming we didn't hit it off, I would be put back in the rotation for a future match in 2-3 weeks. If we did hit it off and had planned another date, I would be taken out of the rotation until I let them know.  I must say what I learned really appealed to me in terms of ease of use on my part, considering where I was in my schooling and life (living in a rural area where there are few available male options).  So basically they were arranging a series of blind dates for me until I found "the one."

I agreed this was something I wanted.  Saw the price tag.  Nearly choked.  But ultimately thought it was worth the cost, wrote them a check (which they didn't want to accept--as they wanted a credit card--but did), signed the contract, answered even MORE questions about myself, what I wanted and didn't want, had my picture taken (not for the clients but for the matchmaker) and left knowing I was now in a good place as it related to my dating life.  All that was left was for me to wait for my matchmaker to call me with my first match and hopefully he would be SO fantastic, we would fall madly in love and for the rest of my life I could brag about how much I paid to have this one date with him.  I was feeling very optimistic for the first time in a long time.